Reminding Me of His Goodness

I tend to have moments where the reality hits me of what I've lost....a daughter, a sister to my firstborn, a lifelong friendship with my child, and lots of future memories that could have been. It really hits me hard at those times and I get discouraged. Last night was one of those times.

I envisioned my daughter's laying in bed together (as me and my sister often did) reading books together, giggling and squealing in such sisterly fun and oh, even the sister squabbles..."She's touching me! She's looking at me!" and so on and so on. All those different moments run wild in my mind sometimes and it makes me tear up which usually leads to a good 'ole cry and then you just feel defeated. However, I woke up this morning and felt better after a good night's rest and also after praying briefly last night, telling the Lord that I KNOW He has something better in store because He KNOWS how much this hurts me....how much of a lifetime of pain and void that will be there....how this has hurt my husband, too, and I just want to heal his heart as well, but it will be worth it because I know He will work it all together for my good, but oh, how it would be nice to feel some uplifting from it all right about now!

So, today I read THREE emails I had received from a few high school and childhood friends asking about Tori, sharing how they had found my blog, and were blessed by her story and my faith. It was the perfect medicine to all I had been feeling the night before. WOW, how good God is to remind me of his GOODNESS. It wasn't even in all they said, but in my response to them that I was able to share with them what has happened and yet I have hope and faith to what will become of it all. What an awesome testimony and chance to give God full credit and all the glory, but also a wonderful reminder to myself.

"Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to have this relationship with you, and please forgive me for all the times I take it for granted and don't appreciate being able to come to you for any and everything. Thank you for always coming through for me and taking care of me...although I don't deserve it. Thank you for showing your mercy, goodness and love every step of the way. I thank you for being my Father and my heart overflows knowing I will see you one sweet day...along with my precious children! So thankful for that hope I have!!"