Spiritual Warfare -- Part 1

Before I begin this post that's been on my heart for over a week now, but I just didn't know how to put it into words, let me share my testimony. I'd like to do so because I feel like after hearing a speaker at church Sunday, everyone's testimony is awesome, no matter how simple it may be, and it is worth sharing.

Let me back up to say that although I have hated and despised for it to define me in years past, it is indeed true that I am a PK (preacher's kid). I don't resent it like I did when I was in high school, but at times I would just like to be labeled as ME: "Melissa Leigh Wilhoit" and not "the pastor's daughter." If you do view me as that or have in the past, don't think I'm angry about it, because actually I'm not. I'm used to it and have come to accept it, although having my own identity would be nice. I do look at the other side of the spectrum, though: if my dad wasn't a called man of God to preach the word, would I have been involved in church like I have all my life and known all the people I know that helped get me through such an awful time in my life? We had people from past ministries and churches praying, emailing, sending cards, calling, etc when we needed church families the most. My dad's faithfulness has in turn reaped a lot of wonderful, godly relationships throughout the years that have given our family long lasting friendships and for that I am forever grateful.

Okay, so why do I bring up the fact that I'm a PK if I've hated it so much in the past? Well, to give you my background. I was raised in church...I went to the nursery in Shelton Beach Road Baptist Church in Saraland, AL (some of my readers live there), and was a toddler there where I distinctly remember going to all the church functions with my black patton purse in tow, asking various members for "monies." No, my dad didn't put me up to it, I guess I was just trying to get the offerings that didn't get given that day for myself. HA,HA. I hope everyone knows I'm kidding, although it is a funny story my family looks back on that I actually did do that as toddler. Anyway, my point to all that is, I was born and raised in church. I've never known anything different, and today, I can honestly say PRAISE GOD! that that's the case!

I said jokingly to someone the other day that I grew up having a flannel graph board view of what Christianity is all about. (Not I'm not picking on our teaching methods to our children, because that's where the seeds are planted I fully believe. Without the flannel graph, I wouldn't have known all the Bible stories at an early age like I do today!) Again, my point I hope I am making clear is that I wasn't a rebellious teenager that turned from a ton of awful sins and gave my life to Christ.

The night that I remember praying and asking the Lord to save me was a Sunday night after church. I questioned and quizzed my parents until I said I was ready to be saved. I remember the couch we were sitting on and where in our house that it was with both parents on each side of me, going through the plan of salvation with me after desiring to know and accept it. I remember praying and they have held me accountable until this day that I made a profession of faith that night. However, I can't honestly say that I have always been at peace with that "childlike faith decision" that I made at 5 years of age.

I have thought several times in my short 25 years of life that since I didn't have much to repent from at 5 years old, then how did I possibly understand I was sinner and repent if I didn't have much to repent from?! And that's not all. Because I was saved at a young age, I thought about how I didn't have a bunch of nasty habits to give up or turn my life around from. That is where the childlike faith comes in, and I believe that I did have that at 5 years of age. I believe that I knew at that time that Jesus was God's Son, that He loved me and died for me, that on the 3rd day He rose again that I may have eternal life. I believed that I was a sinner and knew that there was no other way to Him other than through the Father...not by anything I could do. That was the childlike faith that He asks us to come to Him with, and I believe I had it and He saved me when I called upon Him and asked Him to. I knew that I needed Him and that was that.

Well, because I was a PK and always in church, I got to middle school and the ridicule came. I heard it all, from thinking I was holier than everybody (which I didn't), that I was so religious (which I hate religion- I love Christianity- there is a difference), that I wasn't invited to this or that because of who my dad was, that I couldn't be apart of this or hear or do this because I probably wasn't allowed to; you name it, I heard and saw it, and although it is so petty looking back, I fell for it then. I thought I had to prove everybody wrong and be the exact opposite of what they thought. I made it my life's ambition over the next several years to try to NOT live up to what all they were saying. And for the most part, I was able to be involved in my youth group in and out (I remember being committed at a time, but that didn't always stick), and yet do the same ole thing, remaining unchanged.

So by the time I graduated High School, I wasn't near as severe, but I wasn't as sold out as I should have been either. I had a Christian fiance, thank God, but didn't appreciate it as much as I do now. To be unequally yoked would have to be abou the hardest thing I could think of. So, we got married, we each taught Sunday School (children and pre teens), he sang in the choir, we were faithful in Church. But the actual growing and maturing in Christ, the bearing of the fruits, weren't always the most important and always evident.

I very detailed have led you up to this point to say that I was in church all my life, knowing all the answers, accepting Christ at a young age, growing as a child into a teenager and choosing the world instead of growing and committing my life to Him, getting married and beginning my life while still being lukewarm at times, and then not until about 4 years ago did I begin to question my whole life, even my salvation.

I remembered what I did as a child, but I did (and still do sometimes) feel guilty about not having made my life count all those years. I knew that I didn't follow through with what a believer is supposed to do, and that is to change from your old ways because you are a new creature! I hope this is understandable of why one may think this way, but if not, I nailed it down then anyway and publicly professed it just to make sure I knew that I knew. I had a whole church body holding me accountable to me realizing that I had never made my life count after salvation, that I had been lukewarm, that I now needed to serve Him and make Him Lord, not just Savior. I feel that I did just that. I have realized time and time again, that salvation is not a certain worded prayer, that it is a heart issue. My dad had reminded me that no 2 salvations are exactly alike. People say it different ways when praying to Him. It's not an actual "come into my heart" prayer for everybody like I did at 5 years of age. Since then, I have committed my life to Him (while continuing to not let Him always be LORD, like He should) and know that I know that I will be in Heaven with Him one day. Satan has tried several times to discourage me and make me wonder again, but I always take it to the Lord and remind myself of what I believe and what I've done. (I have found vocally rebuking Satan is actually very helpful!)

So, if you're actually still reading this novel (thank you), I'm getting to my point, I promise. I feel like there is constant spiritual warfare going on...especially in my own life lately. What is spiritual warfare? I found a pretty good description of what I was trying to put into words at www.allaboutfollowingjesus.org and wanted to share it:

Spiritual Warfare: What is it?
Spiritual warfare exists in the unseen, supernatural dimension, where God is all-powerful and Satan is in revolt. As any Christian soon discovers, although spiritual warfare is unseen, it’s absolutely real. The Bible speaks of spiritual warfare in many places, but most directly in Ephesians 6:12, where Paul speaks of putting on the full armor of God:

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

Spiritual Warfare: How Do We Go Into Battle as Christians?
Spiritual warfare is an image that many of us would rather reject. However, since the Bible uses terms of warfare, it’s best that we accept God’s imagery, so that we’re properly prepared for real battle. As Christians, we’re going through more than a mere “struggle” on earth – and its seems that war imagery captures this reality better than anything else. Since it’s warfare, God instructs Christians to use a very specific set of armor and weapons in Ephesians 6:14-18:

“Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit...”

God’s list of weaponry is rather unique – these are “weapons of peace.”

Throughout the Bible, you will find examples of God’s weaponry in action. For instance, King Jehoshaphat sent out praise singers in front of his soldiers to cause disarray among the enemy; Joshua used singing and trumpets to bring down the great city of Jericho; and what better example of using faith in battle than David fighting Goliath with a slingshot. Of course, the lesson in all these examples (as in all spiritual warfare today) is that it’s only God who allows us to claim victory over evil!

Spiritual Warfare: Be Strong in the Lord
Spiritual warfare is a reality of the Christian life. But remember, we know the ending – our side wins. Since the Devil has already lost, he has nothing to lose in trying to take as many people with him in defeat. Therefore:

“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:10-11).

I have a lot more I want to share, but for now just wanted to share my testimony because I don't think I have with my blog readers, and also introduce something that is weighing heavy on my heart and mind. I am having the TIME OF MY LIFE as I have joined the ladies at our church in doing an awesome, new Beth Moore study, "Stepping Up," and I encourage EVERY lady to participate if at all possible. Since starting a personal, deep, daily study, "life" has hit me...from lots of different directions. Satan doesn't want me going deeper and growing with Him. Yes, I hide it well. I wear lots of "makeup" and "thick clothes" to hide my innermost hurts, fears, and pains, and I don't open up very easily believe it or not.

Satan has attacked me from different angles, being the clever thief that he is, trying to fill my head with lies, making me feel worthless and attacking those I love the most, too. Throughout these attacks, I am SO glad to say that I haven't given up or given in. Have I felt like it? Yep, as a matter of fact, I just told a friend today, "I'm just getting tired of it all. I'm trying, really trying, but I'm getting plain worn out." Faithfulness isn't about trying until it gets easy again though, is it? WOW. Hit me like a ton of bricks. It's about persevering through it all, no matter how hard the road to travel.

I also told someone at the beginning of this study that I feel like I shouldn't even be doing it because of stuff I'm going through (like it's all too much right now), but thankfully, they were wise enough to tell me that "No, this is actually the perfect time that you need to be doing this study, because God wants to grow you even more through it; He doesn't expect your life to be free of chaos and THEN you do this in depth study." WOW. Again, hit me like a load of 'em. Same thing as salvation; God does the picking up and dusting off, cleaning us up and making us new. He doesn't expect us to come to Him ONCE we've done it and achieved it ourselves; it's impossible.

So, if I've left you hanging, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I will be updating more on what's on my heart and mind soon. If you got this far, thanks for persevering yourself and reading such an unexpected long post. Have a good rest of the week.