Looking for Help

There are all types of self help books out there, and more convienently, there's google. You can find just about anything you want to that will inform, educate or "help" you by searching for it online. There are so many other modern day things available to look to and surprisingly enough, many Christians look other places FIRST before they seek out HIS help for daily decisions, choices, opinions and overall help.

I found myself looking to the Lord more than ever while facing the unknown for so long with Tori. It's funny how "storms" seem to bring us to our knees and cause us to rely on Him more than ever. I am thankful that we made the choice to look to Him ultimately, but don't doubt that my flesh wanted to run sometimes when it felt like the bottom was going to fall out!

I am thankful looking back that we chose that path, but it was only with His help. I will say it again as I have before, we are NOT super Christians and don't claim to be, the Lord just knew how to work this in my life for good (Jeremiah 29:11) and thankfully, I had surrendered to His plan. I can only imagine the heartache I would be feeling now if I had not. I cannot fathom what unbelievers feel when they experience a loss like we have. One more reason to win them to Him.

Throughout many endless hospital days and nights, many people emailed me or sent a card with this verse on it, and it was the focal point of my devotion today: "I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come?" Psalm 121:1 I often times imagined myself looking up to the sky just looking for Him. Waiting. Resting. And waiting some more. It was a long time it seemed like looking and waiting for Him and His help, but He proved Himself faithful.

Yes, I said He proved Himself faithful. Some unbelievers might say "But your daughter died? He didn't heal her, he didn't "come through" for you. How can you still look to Him for help?" Well, I can answer that by referring them to a simple verse that says "His ways are not my ways, His thoughts are not my thoughts" and because that is true, He is omnipotent, omniscient God watching and waiting to make Himself seen and heard in my life to myself and others in an amazing way. He has proved Himself faithful by fulfilling the promise that He has a plan for my life to prosper me and help me and that it will all work together for good. He has used my sweet baby girl to reach others for Him and hopefully drawn people closer that were already believers. I know it's true because of an email I received tonight from a newer church member that I had already talked with before about this, but it was good to be reminded that her life was not in vain.

She says through Tori's life, they saw an awesome testimony and ultimately that is what made them desire a relationship with Christ. WOW. All of Tori's pain and suffering and my pain watching her go through it all was worth it in the end. I may not have thought so at the time, but there is proof. And it's because of the Person chosen for our entire family's source of help...HIM.

I guess I want to put this disclaimer out there as much as possible, but it's nothing we've done!! I just wanted to share all this with someone that may need it and remind us all that people are watching, listening and waiting to see who or what you're going to look to in time of need. I have a fish on the back of my car and I also have road rage at times (LOL), so I try to remind myself of that fish on the back and who it's representing when I'm really mad at the person who cut me off or did something stupid! :)

I guess I tend to think more about what's really important in life since our life has changed so much and slowed down from what it was like when we were in Nashville all the time. It's caused me to think about A LOT of things. Tori made a lasting impression on my heart and in my mind to the point that I am not even the same person anymore. Really. If I truly think about it, I am forever changed in SO many ways, that I will never, ever be that person I was before her birth. I'm not even the same person I was before she got sick and we thought she would eventually come home and we would go on with our lives as a family of 4. Not anymore. I think differently, I act differently, everything is just different in SO many ways. To say that her life and this experience and feeling of loss was life changing, that's an understatement. It was a total 360 for me. I know Josh feels the same way.

So here's my devotional that I wanted to share and I hope you get something out of it, too.

"Where Does Your Help Come From?"

"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come?"
Psalm 121:1 (NASB)

Devotion:
Where does your help come from? When crisis strikes, adversity hits, or sorrow shadows you, where do you go for help? How we answer this question truly reflects the depth of our belief that God is watching and waiting to come to our aid. I will be the first to admit that there are times when I struggle to look to the right source for my help.

Recently I have been studying the Psalms. Before I took an in-depth look at Psalm 121, I did not understand what the writer was seeing as he wrote this plea for help. The terrain surrounding him was mountainous. I've learned it was common for those walking by to look up in this mountainous landscape and see pagan worshippers worshiping their false gods on the mountaintops. When people had fears or needed a spell to ward off an evil spirit, they went to the mountaintops seeking help from the false gods, and pagan priests or priestesses.

After learning of these practices, I listened to the Psalmist's cry with a different ear. He knew what help was held in the mountains surrounding him. He looked up and saw many receiving false help from false gods, and he cried out," I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come?" Can you hear his plea?

Where does your help come from? What false help awaits you on the mountaintop of your horizon? In our day, there may not be a Baal, a sun priest, or a moon priestess on our mountains, but we turn to other sources of false help. Women all over the globe accept false hope from powerful media influences. Whether it is from a magazine purchased in the grocery checkout line, a book from the self-help aisle, or a popular channel on the television, we can see false help.

The next verse from the Psalmist's pen is a declaration that I challenge us both to make. As women of faith, let's turn off the false help of powerful media influences and declare with the Psalmist, "My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth." This declaration will no doubt make the enemy of our world angry. He wants to keep our attention focused on the false help we have grown accustomed to receiving. He wants to keep us from the real, authentic, and loving help that comes from trusting the Maker of heaven and earth.

Will you accept the challenge? Instead of choosing a familiar channel on the remote control, take the time you would normally spend watching television and find a quiet place to talk the One who offers real help for the problems you may be facing. Refuse to purchase a new women's magazine to read while in line or on your lunch hour, or chose a more wholesome one instead like the P31 Woman. Pick up your Bible and read about God's perfect plan for your life, a plan to give you a hope and a future. Real help from a real God awaits you.

Dear Lord, forgive me for seeking false help from this world. I wait to seek You, my true source of help but I am afraid. Help me to overcome the fear and celebrate the future you want for me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.